Can someone please punch Catherine Hardwicke in the throat and tell her Twilight is soooo 2010? She was the only downside to Red Riding Hood.
Let me start out by saying the film centers around Valerie (Amanda Seyfreid). She is in love with her childhood friend Pete but her family has arranged a marriage with a wealthy young man, Henry. A wearwolf has been terrorizing their village and prevents Valerie and Pete from eloping when it kills Valeries sister. The rest of the movie focuses around the destruction of the werewolf.
First of all, the actual fable has so much potential. It needs to be an R rated thriller with twists and turns and NO SAPPY LOVE STORY! The fable is not a love story! It's an anti love story. It's a hidden message of a girl that gets raped when she lets a strange man/wolf talk her into doing something she shouldn't.
Hardwicke does a terrible job directing since the only thing I can think is, is this Twilight? It's even got some of the same actors as Twilight! I will say that she does an admirable job sticking ot the framework of the fable. I was able to deduce the wolf by remembering what comes next in the story.
However, I was sorely dissapointed with the rest of the film. It had so much potential and just fell by the waste side. Even lovely Seyfreid couldn't save it because of Hardwicke's directing ignorance.
Feb 21, 2011
Auburn poisoning affects fans everywhere
The news lately has been flooded with news of the poisoning of Auburn's historic Toomer's Corner. The trees located there are over 100 years old and the site of infamous student celebrations. The poisoning was so severe that the trees are likely to die, and the complete surrounding area is contaminated.
Now I am not an Auburn fan. My fiancee is an Alabama fan and so that's where my allegiances tend to lie. Perosnally, I don't even really like football. However, this heinous action absolutely disgusts me. First of all, it gives not just Alabama fans but all fans a bad name. Namely because the accused was not even a student. He was just a stupid, irresponsible fan, and it's fans like these that give all fans a bad name. These idiots have no direct link to the school yet vandalize opposing schools all in the name of pride. This is not pride! One man does not speak for all. The fans at Alabama should not be penalized for this man, and no retaliation should come to the school or students. The true fans, the ones that attend the school and support friendly competition DO NOT condone these actions.
Secondly, this action is not just vandfalizing the school, it's vandalizing the people whose hearts and souls are in that school. Those trees are a symbol of pride and history. If someone were to harm my lions or damage the historic fountain at UNA, I would be heartbroken. These things represent my pride in my school and the time I have spent at UNA.
The man that commited this crime deserves to truly pay for it. He has damaged not only the school, but the name of competition as a whole. Rivalries should be friendly and about the game. It's about bragging rights and talent, not petty crimes. Alabama is not responsible for his crimes just as Jesus is not responsible for the idiot Baptists that sully the funerals of our soldiers. One man's actions do not reflect a whole.
http://photos.al.com/birmingham-news/2011/02/toomers_corner_poisoned_oak_tr_28.html
Now I am not an Auburn fan. My fiancee is an Alabama fan and so that's where my allegiances tend to lie. Perosnally, I don't even really like football. However, this heinous action absolutely disgusts me. First of all, it gives not just Alabama fans but all fans a bad name. Namely because the accused was not even a student. He was just a stupid, irresponsible fan, and it's fans like these that give all fans a bad name. These idiots have no direct link to the school yet vandalize opposing schools all in the name of pride. This is not pride! One man does not speak for all. The fans at Alabama should not be penalized for this man, and no retaliation should come to the school or students. The true fans, the ones that attend the school and support friendly competition DO NOT condone these actions.
Secondly, this action is not just vandfalizing the school, it's vandalizing the people whose hearts and souls are in that school. Those trees are a symbol of pride and history. If someone were to harm my lions or damage the historic fountain at UNA, I would be heartbroken. These things represent my pride in my school and the time I have spent at UNA.
The man that commited this crime deserves to truly pay for it. He has damaged not only the school, but the name of competition as a whole. Rivalries should be friendly and about the game. It's about bragging rights and talent, not petty crimes. Alabama is not responsible for his crimes just as Jesus is not responsible for the idiot Baptists that sully the funerals of our soldiers. One man's actions do not reflect a whole.
http://photos.al.com/birmingham-news/2011/02/toomers_corner_poisoned_oak_tr_28.html
Feb 10, 2011
Amy Adams the only bright spot in The Fighter
I would say that I was mildly interested in seeing The Fighter. I'm all for a good feel good sports movie but not only was the movie so not feel good, it wasn't remotely good either. The Fighter was a long and painful drag through a half decent fighter's troubles.
First of all, I don't know why this movie was being made about Micky Ward. He was a fighter that in every fight got the crap pummeled out of him and then he rebounded. That's not a miracle story, that's just an idiot.
Second, I'm not really sure this movie was about him since it focused more on his AWFUL family. His crack head loser brother, his manipulative mother, and his trailer trash sisters. And he who was too stupid to know any better until his girlfriend forced him to.
Third, Amy Adams was the only good part about this movie. She was funny and probbly the only real comic relief in the movie, since you were really just laughing at how pathetic Christian Bale was. I'll say it, I laughed really hard when Amy Adams started beating the crap out of Micky's sisters. They had it coming the whole time.
This movie would have been so much better if it was about an hour shorter and actually focused on the fighter instead of his sad sack brother. Save the eight bucks and skip this one.
First of all, I don't know why this movie was being made about Micky Ward. He was a fighter that in every fight got the crap pummeled out of him and then he rebounded. That's not a miracle story, that's just an idiot.
Second, I'm not really sure this movie was about him since it focused more on his AWFUL family. His crack head loser brother, his manipulative mother, and his trailer trash sisters. And he who was too stupid to know any better until his girlfriend forced him to.
Third, Amy Adams was the only good part about this movie. She was funny and probbly the only real comic relief in the movie, since you were really just laughing at how pathetic Christian Bale was. I'll say it, I laughed really hard when Amy Adams started beating the crap out of Micky's sisters. They had it coming the whole time.
This movie would have been so much better if it was about an hour shorter and actually focused on the fighter instead of his sad sack brother. Save the eight bucks and skip this one.
Jan 31, 2011
Rihanna makes me want to punch her in the face
So I very rarely critique music, usually because very few artists are worthy of critiquing, however I'll make an exception for Rhianna.
When Rihanna first came out I genually liked her, she was catchy and cute with an ok voice. Since then my opinion has changed. While driving home from school today, I was unfortunate enough to listen to Rihanna's newest crowd pleaser "S&M."
Where to begin? First of all, I don't think there was a single real instrument in the ENTIRE song. Everything was synthesized and computer created, including her voice.
Second, for a woman that doesn't like getting punched in the face, you sure sing a lot about wanting to get punched in the face! Honestly, every song she has released in the past year has included some form of wanting to get beat up. This song includes the stunning lyrics
Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me
Really Rihanna? Really? Why'd you break up with Chris Brown? Eh???
Not to mention its just one more awful song that pollutes the minds of anyone listening to it. It's not bad enough that every rapper sings about how women are bitches and hos but now you have to sing about how girls should let their men beat them up.
Fail, Rihanna, fail. Go back to Barbados and stop polluting my radio.
When Rihanna first came out I genually liked her, she was catchy and cute with an ok voice. Since then my opinion has changed. While driving home from school today, I was unfortunate enough to listen to Rihanna's newest crowd pleaser "S&M."
Where to begin? First of all, I don't think there was a single real instrument in the ENTIRE song. Everything was synthesized and computer created, including her voice.
Second, for a woman that doesn't like getting punched in the face, you sure sing a lot about wanting to get punched in the face! Honestly, every song she has released in the past year has included some form of wanting to get beat up. This song includes the stunning lyrics
Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me
Really Rihanna? Really? Why'd you break up with Chris Brown? Eh???
Not to mention its just one more awful song that pollutes the minds of anyone listening to it. It's not bad enough that every rapper sings about how women are bitches and hos but now you have to sing about how girls should let their men beat them up.
Fail, Rihanna, fail. Go back to Barbados and stop polluting my radio.
Jan 25, 2011
Read the Hunger Games, seriously
Few books in the past century have drawn me in so fully as The Hunger Games.
I didn't find out about these books until I read about them in a magazine. The brief synopsis was enough to get me reading.
The first in the three part series centers around Katniss, a teenager in a district centered around the Capitol. The Capitol controls everything about her district as well as the other 11 districts after an uprising 75 years previously. The Capitol squashed the uprising by nuking the now nonexistent District 13. Ever since, each district is forced to sacrifice one boy and one girl from every district to fight to the death on a reality television show.
When Katniss takes her sister's place in the games she must deal with conflicting emotions for her partner and her best friend, the majority of the players gunning for her death, and issues with the Capitol that go far deeper than anyone ever dreamed.
This book is riviting and at the same time incredibly easy to read. It's appropriate for almost all ages as Colins does a great job of keeping the graphic imagery to a minimum. Read this book, seriously. Not only does it keep you guessing and intrigued but it's a pretty decent representation of what's going to happen to this country if things don't chage. But that's just me.
I didn't find out about these books until I read about them in a magazine. The brief synopsis was enough to get me reading.
The first in the three part series centers around Katniss, a teenager in a district centered around the Capitol. The Capitol controls everything about her district as well as the other 11 districts after an uprising 75 years previously. The Capitol squashed the uprising by nuking the now nonexistent District 13. Ever since, each district is forced to sacrifice one boy and one girl from every district to fight to the death on a reality television show.
When Katniss takes her sister's place in the games she must deal with conflicting emotions for her partner and her best friend, the majority of the players gunning for her death, and issues with the Capitol that go far deeper than anyone ever dreamed.
This book is riviting and at the same time incredibly easy to read. It's appropriate for almost all ages as Colins does a great job of keeping the graphic imagery to a minimum. Read this book, seriously. Not only does it keep you guessing and intrigued but it's a pretty decent representation of what's going to happen to this country if things don't chage. But that's just me.
Jan 19, 2011
Black Swan kind of a let down
Black Swan has got to be one of the most hyped films of the past six months. Every person I know has either seen it and raves or has heard the hype and wants to see it. I was one of the latter. So I decided to see it.
The film while enjoyable, was a huge let down. It was promoted as a thriller but only contains about fifteen minutes of really thrilling material. It was promoted as a mind bender but the content was predictable at best. If anything it was a good ballet movie.
Natalie Portman made a very convincing ballerina and an even more convincing crazy. Unfortunately the films plot and content was not strong enough to keep the movie afloat. Top it off with an extremely unnecessary lesbian drug induced sex scene and you have a film that is positively unpleasant.
This film leaves far too much unexplained and even more under developed. Rent this at your own risk.
The film while enjoyable, was a huge let down. It was promoted as a thriller but only contains about fifteen minutes of really thrilling material. It was promoted as a mind bender but the content was predictable at best. If anything it was a good ballet movie.
Natalie Portman made a very convincing ballerina and an even more convincing crazy. Unfortunately the films plot and content was not strong enough to keep the movie afloat. Top it off with an extremely unnecessary lesbian drug induced sex scene and you have a film that is positively unpleasant.
This film leaves far too much unexplained and even more under developed. Rent this at your own risk.
Jun 7, 2010
Now that I've been to Harry Potter World my life is complete
I and I am sure you ahve noticed that my reviews tend to lean towards the cinematic fashion, but this past week I had the distinct pleasure of going to Harry Potter World in Orlando before the June 18th grand opening. I'll give you a moment to gasp in envy. ... you good? moving on.
First off let me say this, no reviews, no pictures, no videos will ever do this park justice. They need to just chop it off and make it its own park. It is so perfectly secluded in the park that you really feel like you're entering a different continent. There are no clues as you make your way closer, you just round a corner and BAM Hogsmeade. Don't be ashamed if you pee yourself a little. I know I did. It met all my expectations and then some.
When you enter you are greeted by the Hogwarts express and a row of shops. The stores are made like the books so its very cramped but still very cool. All the shops are colorful and true to the books. The workers are committed to their roles and extremely friendly. The sweets are all delicious, from the chocolaty overload of the cauldron cakes to the surprisingly delicious pumpkin juice, Universal made few errors.
Then of course there is the butterbeer. Oh my giddy God's trousers it was delicious. Imagine someone flattened out a cream soda, squeezed in butterscotch and topped it off with the most delicious whip cream ever created. Bottle that crap up cuz I'm addicted. You have the option of getting cold or frozen but I highly recommend the cold.
As you walk down the lanes of Hogsmeade, workers treat you to shows of harmonizing frogs and acrobatic Beauxbatons and Durmstrangs. Pause for entertainment, because they truly were a treat and then continue on to the piece de resistance, the forbidden journey ride housed in a life size Hogwarts castle. No ride could ever possibly compare to this one. First of all you get to tour the castle and see all the wonders in the book like the mirror or erisad, the Griffindor common room, Dumbledore's office, and the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. On top of that is some truly great holographics and special effects throughout. Than of course is the ride. It's hard to explain but I'll do my best. You sit in a chair four seats wide and make your way through the castle on an enchanted flying seat. You battle a dragon, play some quidditch, and fight off some giant spiders. All the while, you move between video and real life seemlessly.
The park was incredible. To describe everything in it would take years but it is truly a magical experience for muggles and Harry Potter nerds alike.
First off let me say this, no reviews, no pictures, no videos will ever do this park justice. They need to just chop it off and make it its own park. It is so perfectly secluded in the park that you really feel like you're entering a different continent. There are no clues as you make your way closer, you just round a corner and BAM Hogsmeade. Don't be ashamed if you pee yourself a little. I know I did. It met all my expectations and then some.
When you enter you are greeted by the Hogwarts express and a row of shops. The stores are made like the books so its very cramped but still very cool. All the shops are colorful and true to the books. The workers are committed to their roles and extremely friendly. The sweets are all delicious, from the chocolaty overload of the cauldron cakes to the surprisingly delicious pumpkin juice, Universal made few errors.
Then of course there is the butterbeer. Oh my giddy God's trousers it was delicious. Imagine someone flattened out a cream soda, squeezed in butterscotch and topped it off with the most delicious whip cream ever created. Bottle that crap up cuz I'm addicted. You have the option of getting cold or frozen but I highly recommend the cold.
As you walk down the lanes of Hogsmeade, workers treat you to shows of harmonizing frogs and acrobatic Beauxbatons and Durmstrangs. Pause for entertainment, because they truly were a treat and then continue on to the piece de resistance, the forbidden journey ride housed in a life size Hogwarts castle. No ride could ever possibly compare to this one. First of all you get to tour the castle and see all the wonders in the book like the mirror or erisad, the Griffindor common room, Dumbledore's office, and the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. On top of that is some truly great holographics and special effects throughout. Than of course is the ride. It's hard to explain but I'll do my best. You sit in a chair four seats wide and make your way through the castle on an enchanted flying seat. You battle a dragon, play some quidditch, and fight off some giant spiders. All the while, you move between video and real life seemlessly.
The park was incredible. To describe everything in it would take years but it is truly a magical experience for muggles and Harry Potter nerds alike.
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